Be Your Own Valentine: 7 Ways to Romance Your Own Life

Valentine’s Day can feel a little bit obnoxious, even if you can’t wait to celebrate it with someone you love.

There are lots of things that are sold to us in various shades of pink and red, like roses, soaps, and Stanley cups (remember those?)

There are also the red roses. Prix fixe menus. Social media highlight reels.

I would be lying if I said that I wasn’t a sucker for a nice prix fixe menu and a full rosebud on a candlelit table. But I know that these things are not expressions of real love.

Real love is consistent. It’s steady when things are boring. It’s the feeling that despite anything going on outside in the world, you might actually be safe with one person, in one place, just for a few moments.

I am asking you to make that safe space YOURSELF.

This year, instead of asking who will choose you, ask:

Have I chosen myself?

In the spirit of choosing yourself to be your own safe space, here are seven ways to romance your own life.

1. Speak to Yourself Like Someone You Adore

Notice your inner dialogue.

Would you speak to someone you love the way you speak to yourself?

Shift from criticism to care.
From “What’s wrong with me?” to “What am I doing right?”

Self-love often begins with language.

2. Create a Sacred Moment Just for You

Light a candle.
Put your phone away.
Play music that makes you feel soft and powerful at the same time.

Love is not about external validation.
It is about being present.

Let yourself feel cherished by your own attention.

3. Write Yourself a Love Letter

Not the kind filled with future goals.
Not the productivity version.

Write about what you love about who you already are.

Thank yourself for surviving things no one saw.
Thank yourself for trying again.
Thank yourself for still believing in love.

Seal it. Keep it. Read it when you forget.

4. Release One Story That Says You Are Not Enough

Maybe it’s:
“I’m not good enough.”
“I’m have not made enough money.”
“I am not likable.”

Ask yourself: Who told me these things? Where did I get these ideas?

You are allowed to outgrow narratives that were perhaps not your ideas in the first place.

5. Nourish Your Body Intentionally

Eat something that makes you feel cared for. It can be chocolate. It can NOT be chocolate. Either is fine!

Take a long shower.
Go for a walk in the sunlight.

Romance your nervous system.

Your body has carried you faithfully. Honor it.